I use CALM to deal with confrontations. I find that I do not now lose control when confronted but instead I can choose the place and method in which to deal with confrontations, and by remaining calm and rational the outcome is positive.
Believing you can and just doing it seemed too easy - no catch, no conditions. The difference in my family's attitudes towards each other over this seminar weekend has been remarkable. The unity in our home tonight is very special - thank you Sandy.
After my alcoholic husband left me with 3 children, and very little money, I moved in with my brother, his wife and 2 children but by the end of a year it was too crowded so I rented a caravan and parked it on his vacant land. My sister rang me and told me about Piece of Mind and then I decided to attend your seminar. I applied what you taught and sent my husband love and also forgave him and "let go" of him. I also visualised that I owned a lovely big new home. A year later my husband rang me asking for another chance. I agreed - he hasn't had a drink in over a year, is a changed man, has a job, has bought a block of land and is building us a new home. All I can say for now is thank you to our Creator and thank you Sandy.
I've always felt tense and lived in a tense household. By using PP and baroque music I've learned to relax and be a more present parent and wife, having a more enjoyable relationship with husband and work environment.
Since completing Sandy’s Seminar, I have made a ‘career move’. I am no longer the harassed mother at the supermarket, come on you’ve all seen me! I am now the assertive, positive listener, creating a happy environment. My new career has taken on a new dimension, I am the “Supermum” I want to be, not the one society expects me to be. I am responding to my inner needs and expectations not society’s – mine are realistic goals set by me – I can only succeed.
Primarily, we teach by our actions, not words; by using the relaxation methods I am enrichening my life and theirs. I have come to realise how powerful positive parenting can be. My goal was so high it wasn’t immediately evident. I didn’t even think I had one, but it was sitting there waiting for me to grow into it. With the help of Sandy’s Seminar I have made my first step towards that goal by helping my children be at peace with themselves and each other. Imagine if we could create a generation, a worl d, to become at peace with themselves and each other, and we are all capable of that – now that’s an incredibly powerful thought.My latest emotion of joy was locked into my subconscious when my 3 year old son said: ‘Mummy, I like you!’ I felt a great peace spread through me; suddenly I knew I already had what I was looking for and with new found positive approach I could really start to enjoy it.
I used and use PP to improve relationships and interaction in the family. The kids used to be able to bug me so much and trigger off an emotional reaction which only made the situation worse. Now by using CALM I can remain relaxed and deal with problems as they arise. However, now that I am more relaxed and don't react when the kids push me - they have stopped as they no longer get a reaction.
For the first time in years I actually got through a complete day without screaming at my children – both under 5. I calmed myself quickly by going into my Peaceful Place.
My 4 year old child had a nightmare. As soon as I picked him up I went to my PP to bring down my heart beat as I held him close to me. I know my calming effect transferred itself to my boy.
Story from B.B. NSW
How about negative people – any tips on how to handle them
When you come in contact with negative people, one good thing to do is just send out good thought waves, send out love for instance (silently in your mind). Remember, whatever you give out, you get back. So if you want love or good relationships and good thoughts then send out love or good relationships or good thoughts. Many people often use negative language and that's fine; some may not know the importance of being more constructive. You just do your own thing, being positive and constructive. Above all use the PP techniques and remain calm.
How can I cope with the many issues surrounding my separation and divorce
Separation (divorce) is probably one of the hardest thing in life to deal with. One of the main issues with this is that we're always looking outside ourselves for love (this could mean lack of self esteem, lack of self love, etc...). Have you heard the saying that you need to give out more of what you want in your life, for example ... "If you want 'more love in your life', then you need to give out more love". Now you can't give out something unless you've got it to give - so how do you do that? We need to love ourselves so much that we don't have the need to look outside ourselves for love. My thought is that partnership will come when we ourselves are ready for it. And obviously I recognise that we all want it in some way or another. So what does loving oneself really mean? It is in fact taking responsibility for ourselves in every way from the way we talk to ourselves, to the food we eat, to the books we read and the TV/movies we watch, to making sure our stress levels are under control - I'm sure you get the picture. (See page 33 of the book "Student Steps To Success" for quite a list.) If you are aware of these issues, you are already 50% of the way there. The next 25% is having the desire to do something about it, and the final 25% is actually doing something, which is where some of my work will be of value, especially reading "Piece of Mind" and working with goals, remember to ALWAYS keep your self talk positive.
I know that issues involving hatred, anger, guilt, revenge and ............. more may come up for you. Work with whatever comes up - do not push it down! The main way forward is with acceptance, cooperation, unconditional love and forgiveness. Specific meditations are probably the best way - Letting Go Anger (PP9), Inner Peace and Harmony (PP13), Self Worth and Confidence (PP10) and forgiveness (PP6) plus the book "Switch On To Your Inner Strength."
I have been doing creative visualization for the last 5 months very seriously, for finding the kind of partner I would like. I started by imagining a face, which is based on my memory of a person who worked in the same organisation as I did. That's where I am having difficulty.
1. I find it difficult to visualize without him. Should I take this man as my spirtual guide? After all he is the one who leads me to experience the strong feelings of love and joy.
2. What is the right way to visualize for ideal mate? How wrong is it to imagine a specific face?
I would suggest that it is NOT a good idea to visualise a specific person's face .... what if you eventually came together with that "face" and all the qualities of goodness, etc... that you wanted were not present. If this face continually comes up for you then consider it to be somebody like a "Guide" and ask for them to help you for the highest good of all concerned.
If you really want to focus on an ideal partner coming to you then first of all, write down all the qualities you want in a partner, including their personality, interests, values, education, etc.... When you have this list, focus on it in your meditation and ask for this ideal person to come into your life in some way or another. When this person does come into your life then you will be able to recognise that this is a possibility of being your ideal partner, because you will recognise qualities that you have "asked for". You could do this in a meditation for a short time each day and ask for the highest good of all concerned that this person comes to you - then let it go and get on with your main meditation.
You may be helped by reading my book "Piece of Mind" (which is also available at most libraries - you can read about it on this website)
Often the group of people I'm mixing with use negative language - does this have any effect on me
Repetition can have an effect because it can go into memory. If you experience a lot of emotion during the time you hear negative language then it goes straight into memory. So yes, the answer is that it does effect you - negatively. One thing you could do is increase your own self esteem by moving away from this group of people. A way to remain positive when negative language is around you is to actually correct it immediately inside your own mind - in this way you are actually putting up a barrier between the negative language that you hear and what you're allowing in to your subconscious mind.
Some of my family are not believing in the process I'm taking to work towards healing - any advice
Dr Bernie Siegel in the movie "Leap of Faith", advised his group of people who were working with a life-threatening illness, to surround themselves with supportive people. If that meant excluding some members of their own family, then so be it. Remember it's the people who are close to you that you will actually take more notice of, so to protect yourself during this taxing time you may need to completely cut yourself from negative people, even if they happen to be a family member. I'm sorry if this seems to be quite harsh, but when you have recovered, then normal relations can resume.
Will your Relationships Tape assist with problems between my husband and myself
Let me ask you a question first - does both you and your husband want to work towards staying together harmoniously? If the answer is "yes" then the meditation Improving Relationships PP14 (Tape or CD) will definitely assist. There are two exercises to do in the meditation (that you do together - after the meditation) - please do them they are very helpful.