Sometimes, no matter what I do, I can't get my goal – what can I do
First, answer the following question: "What stops me getting my goal?"
Now, put a blue line under those things OUTSIDE yourself which stop you getting your goal, eg. no money, someone else beats me to it, my friends knock the idea and discourage me. Put a red line under those things INSIDE yourself that stop you getting your goal, eg. lack of confidence and courage, takes too long and I get bored, I keep changing the goal, lose enthusiasm, talk to myself negatively.
Know that you have control over all the things that have a red line under them. Remember, you talk to yourself 50,000 times a day and when you talk negatively to yourself – who listens? YOU DO – and what's more, your subconscious mind believes you! This is called self sabotage.
And believe it or not, you also have control over some of the things with the blue line under them. For instance, if your friends knock you for wanting to spend a lot of time studying, you make the final decision – to join them or to keep studying. It might not be an easy decision, but one you alone should make. If people are negative all the time, you choose whether or not to be with them.
What about when someone beats you to your goal, or is better than you? You also have control over that situation because…
IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS,
IT'S HOW YOU RESPOND TO IT
Someone else may have "won", but it's your attitude to the result, and your own achievement that counts. It's your attitude to what happens that's the important thing. Respond negatively then you really are the loser. Respond positively and use it as a learning experience and you win no matter what!
What if I don't get the goal
As I said before, you have control over your attitude to the end result - not everybody can come first in the 100 metre race. It depends on what you do once you know you haven't got your goal. Another good clue is to use self talk like… "I've done the best that I can do"… or … "I've done my personal best" … or … "Whatever happens it's for the highest good." Answer the following question: "So what are some of the things I can do if I don't get my goal?" Remember, if you fail when doing goals, then you're "failing" in a forward direction, and you can actually learn from that "failure". Here's a perfect example of this. My friend's daughter from the second year in High School wanted to be a lawyer. The entrance mark into Sydney University was 98.5 - she got 98.2 and just missed out. She was devastated and decided to do Economics/Law instead. Unfortunately for the first six months she was still depressed and then she decided to do well in the exams. At the end of the year, after doing well, she had the choice of transferring to Law and thus fulfill her dream. She decided against it and topped Economics/Law. Today she is so happy that she didn't get into Law, because she was able to pursue another career which she absolutely loved. My question ... did she fail